Cynthia Conner Goyang

FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS

Sitting at Jesus' Feet

If there's one thing I can tell you about myself, it's that I am goal-oriented.

From the moment I open my eyes in the morning until I lay my head on the pillow at night, I'm usually thinking about what needs to be accomplished.

And once I've finished one thing, on to the next.

I have a hard time sitting still for very long, especially when there's something I think needs doing or a problem that needs solving.

That's how I've always approached things.

If I'm writing, I'll research a subject until the cows come home.

One question leads to another, one source sends me looking for the next, and before I know it, I've gone much deeper than I ever intended.

Give me a task, and I'll tackle it.

Go big or go home.

Although I may appear quiet and low-key to the casual observer, somewhere underneath is a grandma gargantuan go-getter!

If my family needs something, I'll search until I find the very best.

If someone needs me, I'll talk, comfort, pray, or help until the wee hours if necessary.

Action.

Action.

And more action.

So when the Holy Spirit began impressing something upon my heart during the dark days after losing my husband, I naturally interpreted it through the only language I seemed to understand:

Do something.

I sensed that the days ahead would be days of development and becoming. I knew the Lord was going to reach deeply into my life and begin a work of healing.

So what did this gargantuan go-getter do?

I got busy.

I looked in the mirror and saw how sorrow and stress had changed my face, so I turned to YouTube and started learning new makeup techniques.

I noticed a few extra pounds, so out came the weights and exercise mat.

Apparently, I had momentarily forgotten that I was 65 and not 25.

My back soon reminded me.

So did my injured foot.

There I was, energetically working on my grand transformation, while beneath all that activity I kept sensing the still, quiet voice of the Lord.

He was calling me.

But not to another project.

Not to another goal.

Not even to some grand makeover produced by my own effort.

He was calling me to sit with Him.

To fellowship with Him.

To learn of Him in the stillness of quiet mornings.

To rest in His presence during the long hours of the night.

To allow Him to reach places inside me that no exercise routine, self-improvement plan, or burst of determination ever could.

I wanted to work from the outside in.

He wanted to heal me from the inside out.

That didn't mean caring for the outside no longer mattered. Exercise, caring for my health, and yes, even learning a few new makeup tricks were good things. I still believe in taking care of the body and life God has given me.

But I was beginning to understand that no outward improvement could do the work my heart needed most.

That healing had to begin with Him.

And that required something surprisingly difficult for me.

Stillness.

It brings to mind two sisters in Luke 10.

Martha was busy serving while Mary sat at the feet of Jesus and listened to His word.

I understand Martha.

Oh, do I understand Martha!

There was work to be done!

Yet when Martha became troubled by all the serving, Jesus gently turned her attention toward what mattered most.

Mary had chosen to sit at His feet.

Jesus called it "the good part."

Slowly, I began learning something similar.

I didn't have to make myself into the woman I thought I needed to become.

I needed to remain close to the One who was already at work within me.

So I began to pause.

After years of working, running, helping, solving, and doing, I began learning how to simply be with Him.

I rested.

And He gave me blessed rest in Himself.

In quiet mornings, I lingered with Him.

During difficult nights, I learned to rest in His presence.

I opened His Word without rushing to the next thing.

I prayed.

I listened.

Sometimes I simply sat.

And gradually I began recognizing something I had been too busy to see.

The development the Lord had spoken to my heart about wasn't primarily about becoming more accomplished.

It was about allowing Him to do His work in me.

To fill me with His love.

To make me more yielded to His Spirit.

To acquaint me more deeply with His peace.

To make me more attentive to His voice.

To teach me to move at His pace rather than my own.

And strangely enough, slowing down didn't make my life less purposeful.

It helped put my purpose in the right order.

Sit before I serve.

Listen before I leap.

Be with Christ before I become busy for Christ.

I am still a go-getter.

Let's not get carried away here.

There are mornings when I want to jump up and conquer the day before my feet have properly hit the floor.

But I'm learning to remember who was there before the day began.

The One who created the heavens and the earth doesn't need me frantically running ahead of Him.

He invites me to walk with Him.

And there is a difference.

Perhaps you are a doer too.

Maybe you're caring for your family, serving at church, working, building, helping, planning, solving, ministering, or trying to become everything you believe God wants you to be.

Those can all be good things.

But even good things can become noisy enough that we struggle to hear the One for whom we're doing them.

Perhaps that's particularly important for those of us who want our lives to matter for Christ.

We've been talking about being brought into His Kingdom for such a time as this.

But if we are going to recognize what He has called us to in these days, we must first remain close enough to hear His voice.

Before Esther stepped forward, she called for a fast.

Before the priests stepped into the Jordan, there was a word from God.

And before we rush out to accomplish something for Christ, perhaps we should spend time simply being with Christ.

There, at His feet, He can quiet what is restless in us.

He can reorder what has become disordered.

He can heal what is wounded.

He can correct what needs correcting.

He can fill what is empty.

And when it is time to rise, we can move forward—not frantically trying to create purpose for ourselves but walking with the One who already knows why He has placed us here.

So take some time, my friend.

Quiet your soul.

Put down the list for a little while.

Sit at His feet.

Not because there's nothing to do.

But because there is no better place from which to begin.

"But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her." — Luke 10:42, NKJV

A Prayer for Us

Lord, teach us to treasure being with You more than simply doing things for You. Settle the rush within us and draw us close enough to recognize Your voice. Heal what needs healing, fill us with Your Spirit, and teach us to move at Your pace. Then, when You call us to rise, help us walk with You faithfully in the purpose You have given us for such a time as this.

In Jesus' Name, Amen.

FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS.

Until next time,

Cynthia